Alone In A Beautiful Place

Do you ever do something just to feel?

Sometimes, I feel alone. Neil Gaiman suggested that this is a problem writers face. 

“The hardest part of being a writer is -you get lonely. It’s just you and the stuff in your head and nobody else can do it for you.” 

Often I feel this way. I feel alone. Isolated. I have friends. I have a wonderful family that supports me. I’m surrounded by the people that I work with, my neighbors and people in my community. Yet I feel so alone often. Like I’m not really here. The people are here and they love and they care, but they just don’t seem to understand. And I’m here, and I sit and I watch and I write. But I feel like I’m not really there sometimes. Like I’m so…disconnected. 

Not that I want to complain, because those moments are beautiful. They feel so powerful, like I’m connecting with the world even though I’m falling away from the people. Those are the moments when I feel like I can write about anything and it all seems so…beautiful. Filled with meaning and power. The words just make sense. The world just makes sense. All these little things. Sounds. Sights. Smells. Movements. Colors. Feelings. Thoughts. All rushing together in a maelstrom of…experience. And it is beautiful. 

But they make me feel lonely.

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2 thoughts on “Alone In A Beautiful Place

  1. If you are talking about ‘aloneness’ rather than loneliness, I totally get it. After working for decades around other people out of necessity, I relished the aloneness, and I seldom felt lonely. Similarly, when people would express their boredom to me, I typically responded by encouraging them to relish the boredom. It is in those quiet moments that we get to know ourselves. Or as you so aptly stated: ‘… those moments are beautiful. They feel so powerful, like I’m connecting with the world’.

  2. Writing for me means finding an escape from the thoughts of others where I can discover what no one else can create. But it’s a solitary place, and so that separation comes with a price. Sometimes I revel too much in being alone. I can have everything going on around me and be entirely involved in the world inside my head. I don’t know if that’s always worth it. My head’s a great place, but enjoying the thoughts of others is inspiring and wonderful, too.

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